Sunday, June 28, 2009

I'm not high maintenance, I swear.

I've had a dry cough in my lungs since Tuesday. My chest feels constricted, my breathing isn't normal, and the cough is waking me up at night. I figured it was a freak allergic reaction to something so I took a Benedryl. That didn't help. Finally, last night, Dylan suggested I take Robitussin to help with the coughing. So, like a good paranoid pregnant lady, I called the advice nurse first to ask if I could take it when I'm pregnant. She didn't know so she called Labor & Delivery so I could talk to the doctor there. They weren't sure, and since I was coughing up a lung and gasping for breath while I was on the phone with them, they insisted that I come it. Right now (9pm), to Labor and Delivery.

So, a babysitter was called and Dylan and I went to the hospital. After filling out tons of paperwork I was admitted to triage and hooked up to the fetal monitor, oxygen monitor, and blood pressure cuff. For a cough. (Once again, can I just have some cough syrup?)

Then I mentioned that I had recently been to Mexico. Bad idea. Never mind that there are more cases of Swine Flu in the US than in Mexico. Never mind that I had no flu like symptoms. Just a cough.

2 hours later, enter Dr. First Day on the Job. She listened to my lungs. Asked me all of the same questions; "Have you had a fever?" No. "Have you had any pain?" No. Have you had any muscle aches?" No. "Are you feeling the baby move?" Yes. "Have you noticed any loss of fluids?" Just pee. From coughing. A lot.

So, she called the specialist to ask if I should be tested for Swine Flu. This is the side of the conversation that we hear:
"Should we test her for H1N1?.... A nasal swab?.... How deep? Do I do that or does a nurse?.... No, I've never done that before? I could figure it out though.... Well, I only have a low suspicion that she has it.... Oh, so I don't need to test. Oh good.... Thanks."

I guess I should be thankful that it was her first day on the job and that she didn't feel it necessary to learn how to do a deep nasal swab for a patient with a cough. [This is when Dylan starts having a philosophical discussion with her about some book he read about ethics and medicine].

At 11:30pm, it is determined that my baby is not in distress. Duh. And I don't have Swine Flu. Duh. And that yes, I can take Robitussin for my cough. So Dr. First Day on the Job logs into the pharmacy to order my prescription (which is actually just an over the counter medicine) and has to call the pharmacy to ask how to fill out the order. Because she's never done it before. "It keeps asking me for a decimal number and I just want 1 bottle. What am I supposed to put. Oh, 250 MLs..... what does it mean numerical number. I'm putting a numerical number (aren't all numbers numerical?) Oh just 250. Don't put MLs. Okay. Thanks."

Sooooo, after a 12am trip to the pharmacy to pick up my bottle of non-prescription Robitussin, we made it home..... to discover that the type she ordered for me is formulated for diabetics. Which I'm not. So it's made with fake sugar. Which I despise. Oh well. I gagged it down anyway and slept like a baby.

1 comment:

MacD Kids said...

Julie, that was a hilarious post, I can totally picture all of it :) Ah pregnancy, so much drama! Hope you guys are doing well, thanks for making me laugh today!